It’s just after midnight.
I can’t sleep.
Truth is, I’m upset. About everything. It’s the chemicals (or lack thereof) in my brain. It’s the pain in my side, right where my liver sits, a pain that I had hoped would disappear upon a few hours of relief earlier this evening. It’s the heat. It’s the smoke in the air from the fires raging half a state away. It’s my mismatched furniture. It’s the stains on our carpets that will never go away no matter what cleaning process we use because the people who lived here before didn’t take care of anything. It’s my husband’s snoring. It’s the dogs barking.
There’s a good chance that the second I stop typing I’ll be a basket case.
Because I’ve learned the hard way that it’s best to avoid public writing when one’s emotions are out of check, I am going to be stepping away from here for the next couple of weeks. My plan is to join you again on August 4, but I’ll be honest and say that may not happen. August is usually the hottest month of the year around here, and therefore the hardest month for me.
I hope you all experience the wonderful blessing of feeling the tangible presence of God this day.
See you later.
To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.
3 thoughts on “The Detox Diaries: Radio Silence”
Yuk. Sounds miserable.
I get to sleep OK but I can’t stay asleep. after tossing and turning for hours on end, I got up at 3 (alarm’s set for 4) and puttered around the Internet trying to drag my brain into consciousness since I’ll need it later today.
I had coffee with a friend yesterday afternoon. He suffers from ALS. After a recent bout with pneumonia, he discovered it had taken something more out of him and now he doesn’t have enough control of his arms and hands to drive anymore. He’s a gifted computer programmer but his typing has gone away (and voice recognition software only goes so far). He’s facing having to stop working. He’s looking at a near future in a motorized wheelchair. He’s dreading the loss of speech and being unable to communicate.
He’s a man of God and far more spiritual than I. Perhaps it’s his close association with impending death. There’s nothing like a sleepless night to bring one nearer to God. It’s said that this is the best time to read and study the Bible.
I read this old “Peanuts” comic strip just yesterday and what Snoopy goes through reminds me of all of this: http://assets.amuniversal.com/a08c40f0d48e01316922005056a9545d
That we feel all alone in the dark doesn’t mean we are without God and in fact, in our pain and anguish is when we call out to Him the loudest. How like Psalm 42?
I related to this… I hope you found some peace, some rest and some brain quiet…