Content Yo Self

Along theWay @

Gentle Reader,

I love Parks and Recreation.

Chris and I watched the show as it aired live. We’ve watched it completely through several times on Netflix. We can quote entire scenes word-for-word. Chris shares Ron Swanson’s love of woodworking and breakfast foods. At any given time I can be heard singing Jean-Ralphio’s classic, “Technically I’m homeless!” Both of us appreciate the beauty that is the Knope/Wyatt relationship. If we believed in spirit animals, mine would be April Ludgate and his would be Andy Dwyer. Chris Traeger and Ann Perkins are amazing land mermaids. Tammy 1, Tammy 2, Jeremy Jamm, Bobby Newport, Lil’ Sebastian…

Don’t worry – I didn’t forget the joy of Tom and Donna:

We are lit-er-ally P&R super-fans.

“Treat yo self” is a wonderful idea. In a culture that’s all about work, work and more work, as well as remaining constantly connected through social media and smartphones, it’s important to build a little space in our lives for relaxation. Eat a cupcake, see a movie, buy an expensive pair of shoes (that you’ve saved money for. Hashtag Dave Ramsey). In moderation, there’s nothing wrong with “treat yo self.”

But you know humans.

We just can’t seem to do anything in moderation.

In our Western, industrialized, competitive context, we swing from frenetic labor to “I’m going to go into major debt because I want that boat” without much thought. We are always striving, in work and in play, to keep up with…someone. Something. It’s rather ill-defined. We know for certain, however, that we are always and inevitably coming up short. Nothing is ever good enough. We are never good enough.

So onto the next deadline so we can get the next iPhone that we’ll have to make payments on by logging more hours.

Strangely, despite all the overtime and the missed vacation days, we lack discipline.

Really, we do. It’s not good that 40 hours a week is often understood to actually be 60, with little to no overtime pay. Or, if overtime is given, a tongue-lashing from the numbers guy comes along with it. “Yes, we need you to do this project that requires 87 hours of work but you have to get it done in 39.5. Kthanksbye.” There is no satisfaction accompanying a job well done, because the job is never done.

No discipline Monday-Friday equals no discipline on the weekends. Stay up too late, sleep too long, spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, shop too much. Hungover, emotionally or physically, we head back into the workweek, the ever-revolving hamster wheel of tasks and expectations.

On and on it goes.

Paul wrote:

…I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

– Philippians 4:11b-12 (NKJV)

We don’t know how to do any of that. We don’t know how to be content in plenty. We don’t know how to be content in leanness. We don’t know how to be content, period.

Because we’re looking at the wrong things.

The big house isn’t going to silence the soul-gnawing sense of desperation. The corner office isn’t going to make the sacrifice of family and friends worthwhile. The string of letters on the parchment paper won’t bring peace. The money in the bank won’t achieve security.

Paul goes on:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

– 4:13 (NKJV)

We quote this verse out of context all the time. I know I have.

Paul is grateful, and in spite of periods of difficulty, he has learned to be content (v. 11). Note that he learned this! He did not rely on favorable circumstances for his joy and strength. He found these in a higher source: in Christ (v. 13).

Asbury Bible Commentary

Doing “all things” isn’t about achievement. It’s about facing whatever the day holds in the knowledge that Chris is always present. Does that mean we deny problems? No. Force ourselves to shun treats? Of course not. Put simply, “all things,” for the believer, are mere things. Seasons. Times. Moments that pass. Christ is the end-goal, the treasure.

Knowing this is the only way that we can be content, and out of that contentment arises the ability to set boundaries. I don’t have to do the work of three people. I can say “no.” I don’t have to buy this thing that I don’t have money for. I can enjoy what I already have. Understanding that Jesus is King and that we are His children means that we don’t have to strive. We don’t have to get caught in the rat race or possess all that is shiny.

Of course, we cannot attain this perspective on our own. We’re not amazing like that. The only way we can conclude that this life, this world is not all there is and that something else matters a whole lot more is through the power of the Holy Spirit. We have to ask for His eyes. We have to ask Him for faith.

So, yes, work hard. And treat yo self. Just remember, neither in the working nor the treating does contentment lie.

Find it in the arms of Jesus.


Photo Credit: Kaylah Otto

Five Minute Friday: Place

Along the Way @

Gentle Reader,

“…you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows.”

– Matthew 24:6-8 (NKJV)

See that you are not troubled.

How, Jesus? How do we erase the feeling of trepidation as leaders in Pyongyang and Washington, D.C., continue to breathe fire at each other, uncaring who is singed in the process? We pray, but the fear remains.

God, forgive us in our frail, simple humanity.

As usual, linking up with Kate and all. We seek: place.


I can’t remember a time without war.

Operation Desert Storm happened when I was in Kindergarten and first grade. Clinton authorized the bombing of Kosovo during middle school. The planes crashed and the towers fell at the start of my senior year of high school. Now I watch the news with an anxious knot in my chest, wondering if we’re really about to go along with Kim Jong-un and reignite the Korean War, a war that never really ended, a war that accomplished nothing. A war that will inevitably escalate until the nations gather once again to slaughter each other across continents.

One set of human beings seeking to strip the other of their humanity.

Will the government reinstate the draft? My husband only has two-and-a-half more years before he is free of being enlisted against his will.

Why should more people die? People caught in the crossfire, people who will suffer because of inflated egos and short tempers.

Gaily, recklessly, arrogantly marching off to war. Just as so many before.

Mothers and fathers, widows and widowers, sons and daughters – left to mourn.

To what end?

No end. Evil is never satiated. Violence is a great, gaping, black mouth, ever-hungry for more victims. It is the mouth of the Devil, that ancient father of lies.

I don’t understand this place, this world. I preach the grace of the Gospel, the solidness of God’s presence. I seek to be a minister of peace. Of reconciliation. My quiet voice – can it, does it make a difference in this place of noise and chaos and boiling blood?

God promises that He will finish what He started. The words He speaks fall to the ground, taking root in the fertile soil of hearts responsive to mercy. A great harvest will result. Nothing returns to Him void. His plans are not thwarted by missiles, His purposes not wrecked by tirades.

That – I must hold to in this place. Though fear pounds in my chest and frustration runs through my mind. He is good and pure and true.

So I, and you with me, must speak the words of truth in this place until we arrive at the other Place, where war and sin are no more.



Photo credit: Thomas Tucker

Not Passive, Not at All

Along the Way @

Gentle Reader,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything about pacifism.

I know. Poking the bear here, on this, the day before my country celebrates its declaration of independence from Great Britain all those years ago. (Probably not a good time to point out that there really wasn’t any Scriptural support for that war). The flags wave and the fireworks unnaturally fill the night sky with the light of day. This year, more than any other year of my life, tempers run hot, ready to boil over at the slightest provocation.

In this midsummer cauldron, I reflect.

In my experience, people tend to assume two things about pacifists:

  1. That we disdain members of the military and the police force. That we hold ourselves morally superior.
  2. That we are content to stand silently by and let evil run amok.

Neither is true.

Every person must deal with the big questions. Why are we here? Is God real? Coke or Pepsi? Some deal by engaging in denial, shoving the haunting inquiries beneath the carpet of their souls. Others study until their minds are mush, smug in their intellectual superiority. Still others latch on to the answers before they even ask the questions, running their mouths in breathless polemic. Some walk the thoughtful path, seeking to examine both questions and answers honestly.

Most of us run the gamut, doing all of the above at one point or another.

I was 12 when these questions began to plague my mind. My middle school journals are filled with long, rambling sentences, not-at-all elegant turns of phrase that make me smile today. No doubt God laughed as the paragraphs poured out of me, the kind of loving chuckle that bubbles up from the throats of fathers who delight in their children. I wanted desperately to understand, to know the deep truths fully.

At this time, my family attended a small Evangelical Friends church. Also known as Quakers, the Friends are founding members of the “peace churches,” groups of believers who are committed to principles of non-violence and non-resistance. (The Amish, Brethren and Mennonites are the other groups). Shortly after becoming involved with this church, Focus on the Family Radio Theater released a docu-drama on the life of German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Whenever an episode aired, my ears were glued to my radio. In the end, I purchased the series on CD and listened to it so often that I could (and still can) quote large sections.

By age 14, I was a convicted pacifist. Despite my ever-wandering heart and the years I spent straying from the Lord, in this I have not wavered. No, indeed I have grown more radical. I do not say the Pledge of Allegiance. I do not sing the Star-Spangled Banner. I cannot in good conscience pledge loyalty to or celebrate any entity that way. I fear placing anything before the Lord.

But I am not contemptuous of those who have a different view.

To be a pacifist is not to hate those who disagree. It is not to loathe men and women who put on uniforms, firearms at their sides. It is not to declare that such people are not and cannot be saved. I dare not question the faith of my brothers and sisters who leave behind home and family to fight on foreign soil. I cannot, despite concentrated efforts, come to a place of agreeing with their actions, but I do not presume to cast them out of God’s hand. I have not and will not yell at or spit on active soldiers, veterans or police officers.

I understand that these men and women are attempting to do what they believe is right.

As do I.

I am a pacifist for many reasons, the primary being that I cannot shake these words:

Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen. …

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. … Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. …

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.


– Matthew 28:18-20; Romans 12:14, 17-21; Ephesians 6:12 (NKJV)

I am in possession of a nasty temper. Unforgiveness, grudges and bitterness are natural for me. Oh, I may not put on a grand display of wrath and thus be known as someone who loses control. My anger is expressed rather in ice and whispers. But it is real. And it is terrible. More than once have I spoken of my longing to punch this person or run that person over with a car.

Did not Christ come to redeem me from this? Did He not come to remake me into His likeness?

As Spurgeon said in his 1859 sermon, “War! War! War!”:

Be in yourself what you would want others to be. Be clean that you can hope to be the purifiers of the world; and then, having first sought the blessing of God, go out into the world and bear your witness against sin.

I can hardly preach the peace and joy that comes in knowing the Lord if I give free reign to violence, both in word and deed. (Thank Him for His great patience!)

Nor can I preach the Gospel if I am content to turn a blind eye to evil.

During the disgusting years of the enslavement of Africans across the United States, members of the Friends risked livelihood and life itself as conductors on the Underground Railroad, helping to usher thousands to freedom. Desmond Doss, whose story was recently told through the film Hacksaw Ridge, single-handedly saved the lives of 75 wounded infantrymen during the battle of Okinawa – without carrying a gun. Sophie Scholl was arrested and executed by the Gestapo for distributing anti-war leaflets in Munich.

These are but a few examples.

I must get in the way of evil I am to avoid hypocrisy. I must bring light to the darkness whenever possible. Here I will not list the ways that I have done so; such a thing would invite your applause, and that I do not need. My Father sees. My Father knows.

To accuse pacifists of hatred for and complacency toward our fellow man is to misunderstand. As the Beloved Disciple wrote,

He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now. He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

– 1 John 2:9-11 (NKJV)

One may argue that this applies only to believers – we cannot hate each other but we are free to hate those outside the Body of Christ. While these verses are written to and within the context of the community of faith, consider,

“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

– Luke 6:27-36 (NKJV)

These are not suggestions that we can shrug over and disregard.

These are commands, straight from the lips of the Living God.

At the 1521 Diet of Worms (a formal meeting in a German city, not a weight-loss plan), Martin Luther said,

Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Holy Scriptures or by evident reason – for I can believe neither pope nor councils alone, as it is clear that they have erred repeatedly and contradicted themselves – I consider myself convicted by the testimony of Holy Scripture, which is my basis; my conscience is captive to the Word of God. Thus I cannot and will not recant, because acting against one’s conscience is neither safe nor sound. God help me. Amen.

(emphasis mine)

Luther himself was hardly a pacifist, but his proclamation provides a nice summary.

I will never tell anyone that love of country is a sin. Where Scripture does not bind the conscience, neither will I. Pacifists love their countries, just in a way that is not commonly expressed in patriotic displays. We want peace, harmony, prosperity – the kind that is found in a relationship with Christ. So we labor, seeking to share the Gospel message of salvation and hope, despite hostility from those in the dark and lack of understanding from fellow believers.

This is my mission.


Photo credit: Ben White

Five Minute Friday: Haven

Along the Way @

Gentle Reader,

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday: For a writer, rejection is a badge of honor.

Of course rejection stings. It strikes right at the core, right in that tender spot. To read, “your work has merit, but it’s just not quite the right fit for us” is crushing. I felt the blood rush to my face. I immediately began to question just who in the world I think I am, sending book proposals to literary agents.

Then I looked up the word merit.

And found that it means, “the quality of being particularly good or worthy, especially so as to deserve praise or reward.”

I’m choosing to focus on that. My work has value. It may have been rejected. I may come through this process bloody and bruised. At least I’m stepping into the arena. My prayer is that God would give me a spine of steel so that my head will never bow in shame. For rejection comes. It comes to everyone who must write.

I realize, in this feeling of being sucker-punched, that I am a writer. No matter if my name never appears on a spine. No matter if no book of mine ever gets a MARC record. (Sorry, library talk). I am a writer.

Speaking this truth to myself now as a sense of smallness washes over me again and tears blur the screen. Don’t pity me. They are the tears of a fighter.

Kate asks to write about our: haven(s).


The wind brushes against the rosebushes, moving pink blossoms, green leaves and honey-colored trellises in a waltz whose tune only nature knows. Rhythmically the heavy flowers bob and weave, flashing their bright yellow pistils here and there. In and out, up and down. The trees join in with a joyous rustle.

We never see the wind and yet we know it’s there.

So, too, the Holy Spirit. In the middle of the busy and bluster, He fills me with a knowing. A belonging.A deep and abiding feeling that cannot be categorized. I am stilled in the chaos at the sound of His whisper. I strain, longing to hear more. He speaks life and truth. Never aloud. Never contradictory to the words on the thin pages of my Bible. He tells me that I am safe when the adrenaline rushes. That I am beloved when I wish the floor would open and swallow me whole. That I do not have to lash out in anger. That it will turn out all right.

I cannot stay home all day, every day, much as I often wish I could. And so He is my Haven, my Rock, my Fortress. He pulls me close. If I lean in, I can hear His heart, filled with holiness and love. The beat drums into me the sweetest kind of peace.


My journey to faith. (15)

Photo Credit: Michael Fertig