Five Minute Friday: Release

Release

Gentle Reader,

As I do not tan but simply reflect light back to the sun, it comes as no surprise that, when I’m tired (beyond the daily level of tired; the sort of weariness that comes with not sleeping well and attempting to cope with a three-day headache), I look like death warmed up. Glanced at myself in the mirror as I dressed this morning and the dark circles were oh-so-prominent. The next time anyone remarks upon them, I think I’ll respond with, “Yeah, but you should see the other guy.”

Paleness also makes finding and purchasing the proper shade of foundation an adventure. Really, Target? You don’t carry a line that includes a shade that sits somewhere between pristine paper before it’s been printed on and WhiteOut? Way to make my life difficult.

Are those bruises all up and down my arms? No, just the veins showing through. Except for that. That one is a bruise. Which I probably got from rolling over too hard last night.

Oh, well. At least I won’t have a football-like complexion when I’m 50.

It’s the little things.

Kate says: release.

Go.

So I’m a pacifist, right? I believe in non-violent solutions and keeping the temper under control. “The fruit of the Spirit is peace” and all that.

Except, I have a nasty temper. I work at being conciliatory. I strive to compromise when possible. I am neither outwardly expressive or explosive. But I have to confess, there are times when I genuinely fantasize about punching someone in the mouth. Usually with a right hook, followed by an upper-cut if he’s being particularly obnoxious. My blood rises, along with my voice (in pitch, not volume) and my fingernails dig into my palms.

People tend to think that pacifism is about cowardice and apathy. It’s not. Certainly not for me, at any rate. Learning to let go of those destructive urges, to release them alongside a slow, count-laden breath, is based in a desire to be free. To walk through life in and with the peace referenced above, and the joy and the love and all the other things that are promised to those who abide in Christ.

I can’t abide in Him if I’m not releasing the anger.

Stop.

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29 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Release

  1. I feel this, friend. I also have a brutal temper. I inherited it from my dad, who inherited from his dad, and so on. I’ve learned how to transcend mine from physical anger into verbal anger, which means I have a tendency to say hurtful things without thinking. Some days I think it’s worse than having the physical anger. Some days I picture myself punching people. It ebbs and flows.

    Your last line is perfectly said. It’s a hard lesson to learn.

    Grateful for you always, lady.

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    1. I often wonder if words don’t hurt more than physical blows. They certainly stick around longer. You’re not alone in the opening of the mouth and the saying of the dumb things. I’m right there with you. Thankfully, there is grace for every moment and God is always teaching us how to be and do better.

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  2. Finding a way to release anger is so important. My tendency is not to express it outwardly but to hold it inside, which is not healthy either. For a long time I didn’t even realise myself that I was angry. Learning to recognise it and release it to God has been an important learning process for me.

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    1. Years ago my therapist told me that depression is anger turned inward. It’s all the unexpressed emotions. (Now, of course, mental illness has more components than that; she wasn’t minimizing). That stuck with me. I’m a “stuffer,” too, which can be just as damaging as blowing up. I’m glad that God sticks with us and patiently molds us into who He wants us to be. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Meeting with a group of religious leaders, one observed that you can’t [community] organize without some anger. True – which leaves me with the difficult task of discerning righteous anger from my own. Oh, and if you find out the magic to get rid of those dark circles, please let me know. Visiting from #15 this week.

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    1. That’s a good point – there is a time to be angry, and a way to be angry without sinning. Discernment is SO important. May God grant us His wisdom. Thanks for stopping by!

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    1. I like that phrase, “write diligently.” I’ve been a little…stuck the last month or so. Nothing wants to come out onto the journal pages, where I process (and rant and rave). Maybe I just need to sit and scribble.

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  4. So true! Great post friend! Oh and I was released introduced to the makeup line Limelight. It’s all natural and I’m loving it. It’s a little spendier but it has lasted a long time. I’m trying out the eye serum this time around.

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    1. I’ll have to look that up! I’ve made the switch to vegan products because it animal testing really bothers me. Hopefully Limelight is cruelty-free!

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  5. i’m not really a pacifist, but i have struggled with my temper over the years. i didn’t want to let out my anger on my children, so i had a number of safeguards in place. as time went on, i learned a number of ways to keep that anger in check. dealing with it as it comes is so much better than allowing it to build and dealing with conflict in the early stages helps as well. over time, i don’t deal as much with it as i once did. i love your post:)

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    1. How wise to have safeguards in place, Martha. That makes so much sense. I’m going to have to think about what kinds of safeguards would help me to express the anger in healthy ways so I can let things go.

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  6. I tend to be a stuffer. I jam my anger inside until it’s in such a tight wad I almost choke. I don’t think that’s really any better way to deal with it. Your wise words of having to release it to abide in God are a good reminder for me! Thanks for sharing…….Now about your paleness: I’m right there with you! My sisters have always found it hilarious to find things to compare my skin to, none of them are complementary mind you! Unfortunately now that I’m older I have age spots! I keep hoping they’ll join together and I’ll once and for all look tan!!!🤣 God Bless, Cindy

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    1. Your words about age spots made me laugh, Cindy! I already have some liver spots on my hands due to illness, and the idea of them melding together is quite amusing. Thanks for stopping by!

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    1. Sooooo true. Keeping the peace, in my world, usually means lying. Which I hate to even think about, but it’s true. Peace making is all about truth-telling and loving people enough to battle through the mess. Love you, too!

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  7. You are beautiful. You are passionate about your beliefs and values. I love that you recognize the need to release anger. We all need to release anger and receive Jesus who is our peace. I’m so grateful Jesus is our Advocate and God is Judge and He is the determiner of justice. SO grateful….
    And I love your description of your pale white skin. You make me think of my husband, born and raised in Ohio, when he moved to Florida. When I met him, I thought out loud, “He has to be the whitest person I’ve ever seen in my life.” He also became the most sunburnt person I’ve ever seen in my life!
    Keep writing, friend, and keep sharing!!

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    1. The year I turned 10, I actually sunburned my eyeballs. I was a wreck! I stopped trying to get a tan around age 19. Now, it’s all avoiding the giant yellow ball in the sky.

      Thank you for your kind words, dear sister. You blessed me today!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry. I’m not laughing. Ok, maybe a little. No I’m not laughing. Oh my goodness, I remember the time my husband burned his feet so badly they swelled and blistered to the point he could wear socks or shoes. Terrible really. The funny thing is that he actually tans and I call him – Suntanned Feet Man!

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  8. As a high schooler we studied Ghandi and the 1960s Civil Rights’ Movement (yes, even in NZ). It showed me how brave you have to be to protest non-violently. So – yes, so true what you share.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about how Jesus was most angry at the Pharisees and Sadducees – at established religion. And how He channeled that anger into the living truth that we now get to breathe in. Taking the law they knew so well and showing them what it truly means through His powerful stories.

    I am realizing that what we so often see as keeping the peace is not always Biblical peace making. How Jesus actually calls us to channel our anger (at injustice) into speaking up in love and not holding our peace in situations we so often back down in so as not to “disrespect” our fellow believers. And yes, it costs to speak up. A lot.

    I see so little iron sharpening iron. And I have contributed to this too. But Jesus is transforming this Pharisees’ heart – slowly and patiently.

    When I did Mary De Muth’s writer intensive she asked us to consider what we were most angry about. She said that’s most likely the ministry God is calling you to. God’s anger at injustice is present in us for a reason. So, Marie – yes, release the anger . . . but let God channel it into glorifying His Name in speaking up for justice and love. Don’t let the enemy tie your tongue 😉.

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  9. Great perspective Marie! Pacifism conjures nuances of passivity but that is not an adequate understanding. We are all human. Where and how we release our anger makes a difference. “I can’t abide in Him if I’m not releasing the anger.”

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    1. Chris and I saw the movie “Hacksaw Ridge” last year. At one point I looked at him and said, “That’s it. That’s what a pacifist does.” Crawls through the muck and the mire to rescue people. Bringing life into places of darkness and death. I want to be like that.

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