I overdid it last week with the bending and the lifting and the stretching and the insomnia. Didn’t mean to. Just happened. With the morning sun came shooting pain in my abdomen and a wicked headache. So I’m in the recliner today, wrapped up in a blanket, watching the minutes tick by. That lovely combination of exhaustion and restlessness that follows surgery settles in. I don’t know if I’m going to have a panic attack, take a nap or give in to the urge for junk food that been poking at me for days. All seem like good options.
Thankfully, I’m just slightly smarter than I have been in the past. A panic attack may come, but it won’t kill me. A nap this late in the day definitely guarantees a sleepless night and I can achieve that without an extra help. Junk food equals liver poison. So I’ve been listening to music that makes me happy. Drinking water. Praying. God reminds me that I’m tougher than I think I am, and 15 days from now I’ll be released fully back into “normal life.”
Maybe you need that reminder today, too. It won’t last forever. You got this.
Anyway, that’s not what I want to write about.
I know better, but sometimes I take the bait. Briefly got into it with someone over the weekend. Same old argument about women’s roles in the Church. This time, Matthew 15:6-9 was flung at me:
…Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:
‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.
And in vain they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ (NKJV)
Not only was this so far out of context as to be laughable, the point was very clear: If you’re an egalitarian, if you think that women can preach, then you are far from God.
Of course this slap in the face was done “humbly,” in an effort to set me straight.
And I thought, “That’s it. I’m done.”
No longer will I argue about this. Contrary to popular belief, egalitarians take the Bible extremely seriously. We have studied this issue. We are not idiots or “liberals” (I’m not always sure what someone means when they use that term). We love the Lord just as much as complementarians do. I’m not going to waste time defending or justifying or explaining to people who clearly just want to fight. I’m not going to try to reason with people who seriously wonder if a woman should be “allowed” to be in charge of the finances if she’s married.
I’ve also decided that I won’t argue about Calvinism. So done with that. I’m sure my decision was predestined.
Look, it’s possible to talk about these things in a spirit of love and family. It’s possible for us to say, “I disagree with you, but you’re my sister/brother” or “I think you’re completely wrong, but we’re both saved by Christ.” I’ve had interactions of this type and they’re always fun and edifying. I always learn something. I always feel respected. Unfortunately, in my experience, many complementarians and Calvinists (they often go hand in hand, but not always) have taken such a hard line in their positions as of late, especially online, that this type of exchange is next to impossible. I find that extremely sad.
I’m an egalitarian. I’m Wesleyan/Holiness. Beating me with your “women must know their place, and their place is __________” or your Reformed system of biblical interpretation isn’t going to make me change my mind. Look down on me all you want. Feel superior. Tell me I’m rebellious. Tell me I am willfully ignorant.
When all is fulfilled and restored, when Heaven and earth are as one, I hope we have houses next to each other.
I firmly believe that correct doctrine is vital. I also believe that there are times when we need to make like Elsa and let it go. There’s a dying world outside our front doors. It isn’t helped by us trying to squash each other into submission.
Go ahead. Stay up in your comfortable ivory towers and talk about how everyone who doesn’t agree with you is wrong, wronger, wrongest. I have work to do.
7 thoughts on “Things I Will no Longer Argue About”
“Unfortunately, in my experience, many complementarians and Calvinists (they often go hand in hand, but not always) have taken such a hard line in their positions as of late, especially online, that this type of exchange is next to impossible. I find that extremely sad.”
Same – it’s as if they’re so self-assured of their complete correctness that mentioning things like what the Greek says how culture played into the Bible, that sort of thing gets dismissed out of hand. Remember that line from Matilda? “I’m smart, you’re dumb; I’m big, you’re little; I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” It’s a lot like that *everywhere* with a little bit of: “If you can’t see things my way, then stay on your side of the room and don’t cross the line!” added into it.
I can’t really add anything to what you said, Jamie, except to say again how sad it makes me. I know that some egalitarians and non-Calvinists can be just as bullish and arrogant, and there’s no excuse for that, but it certainly seem like more of problem for the “there’s a place for everything, and everything must be in its place” folks.
As unkind that this may seem, the first thought that popped into my head when I read this was “Welcome to church.” Well, it’s church in my experience.
Sadly, I know what you’re talking about. I’m thankful to be in a church now that doesn’t argue about this stuff.
Preach. I think this goes for social-media wars in regards to politics and other lifestyle decisions that just aren’t worth publicly warring over. Way to stand up of yourself and yet love and be gentle about it. Way to have a neighbor’s heart. Rooting for you, sister.
People get very heated up about stuff. I’m all for passion, but there comes a point when we all need to cool down and remember that it’s okay to disagree.
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Absolutely! It’s just not worth it sometimes.