31 Days for the Ladies: Thank You, Eyebrows

Along with many others, I’m shamelessly ripping off this bit from The Tonight Show. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say. Please do play the music as you read.

Gentle Reader,

That one stray hair that just will not come out no matter how hard you pull. No matter what angle of approach you use. Not even the element of surprise aids in the attempt.

It is there.

Proudly declaring that all is not as it seems.

Thank you, eyebrows, for being the weirdest part of the female beauty routine. Honestly. We pull you out. Then we draw you back on. This makes absolutely no sense. We know this. And yet we are trapped in the cycle of plucking and waxing and contemplating just shaving you off and bringing back the Renaissance look. (#MonaLisa).

Your shape defines the look of decades, from the pencil thin flapper look to the much-envied full brows of Brooke Shields. Two little strips of hair, sitting above our lovely eyes, should not have that much power.

But, oh, we fear you.

Especially your potential to merge into the dreaded unibrow.

I think I’d better go get my tweezers.