It was so hard to sit at my desk today. Focus was fleeting. The sorrow bubbled in the veins covered by the thin skin of my wrists, ready to spill out at any moment.
As soon as I got in my car, the tears began.
Naturally, I turned to Sandi Patty and the Friendship Company. This album came out in 1989. I listened to it all the time as a kid. When I found it online a few years ago, the choice was obvious. I had to buy it. Truly, this is the music I want to listen to when I’m having a tough day. There is something so rich in its simplicity. It is deeply comforting.
Please take a moment to listen. Really listen to the lyrics.
Today I would change one part of the song:
When the goin’ gets rough, the wait get’s tough…it’s okay if I am cryin’. I’ve got a friend that I can depend on! Jesus, I rely on!
As I did the whole heaving-breath, sucking-in-the-lower-lip thing, completed by the accompaniment of a snotty nose, the Holy Spirit impressed something on my heart, something that I’m going to have to hold onto fiercely in the days to come: Emotions won’t kill me. Crying won’t kill me. Better to feel the feels, have the cry and move on. Sure, maybe I’ll feel sad again shortly thereafter, but that’s okay.
We press on.
Jesus and me.
To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.