It was so hard to sit at my desk today. Focus was fleeting. The sorrow bubbled in the veins covered by the thin skin of my wrists, ready to spill out at any moment.
As soon as I got in my car, the tears began.
Naturally, I turned to Sandi Patty and the Friendship Company. This album came out in 1989. I listened to it all the time as a kid. When I found it online a few years ago, the choice was obvious. I had to buy it. Truly, this is the music I want to listen to when I’m having a tough day. There is something so rich in its simplicity. It is deeply comforting.
Please take a moment to listen. Really listen to the lyrics.
Today I would change one part of the song:
When the goin’ gets rough, the wait get’s tough…it’s okay if I am cryin’. I’ve got a friend that I can depend on! Jesus, I rely on!
As I did the whole heaving-breath, sucking-in-the-lower-lip thing, completed by the accompaniment of a snotty nose, the Holy Spirit impressed something on my heart, something that I’m going to have to hold onto fiercely in the days to come: Emotions won’t kill me. Crying won’t kill me. Better to feel the feels, have the cry and move on. Sure, maybe I’ll feel sad again shortly thereafter, but that’s okay.
We press on.
Jesus and me.
To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.
8 thoughts on “The Detox Diaries: We’re in This Thing Together”
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
“WE PRESS ON…” ALL OF US!
Hang in there, Sister!!!! 🙂
WE MEAN IT….in the Lord.!!!
I applaud your willingness to feel the feelings, instead of trying to make yourself numb to them. This is huge!!! I just noticed lately that I still turn to ways to numb the pain, sometimes before I even realize it. Noticing is always the first step.
Isn’t it odd that sometimes the feelings themselves can be numb? I’ve never found a good way to describe that to someone who has never experienced such a thing. Praying for you, sweet one!
Sometimes I just have to gut it out with Jesus beside me. At times, depression makes it hard to take a breath that doesn’t hurt. I, too, have never found an adequate way to describe how it feels to someone who’s never experienced clinical depression. Perhaps there isn’t one. But, I’m glad to have found you, Marie. I don’t have to explain it to you and vice versa. Praying for you.
Glad to have “met” you, Susan! I am so sorry that you have to deal with this sorrow. I pray that, today, you would experience a measure of relief at the hands of our gracious Lord.