I have a bad temper. For years I believed myself to be the most calm of persons, but, the truth is, I can stew over the smallest of offenses for so long that I forget what the offense was in the midst of my increasingly-angered state. I am the classic grudge-carrier, the one who looks for opportunities to wound. It takes relatively little stimuli for me to get worked up.
The odd thing about this is that I’m not explosive. I’m not prone to yell or throw things. No, instead I will argue. And, sadly, there are times when I am happy to go along with Cicero’s advice:
When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.
Part of my journey over the last year or so has been to learn when I need to open my mouth. There are things that need to be expressed. However, I am beginning to see that many conflicts simply are not worth engaging in. The other person isn’t going to change because I use the resources at my disposal to beat them into the ground. All I can do is speak the truth and leave it at that.
Sometimes, it’s best to shut it.
For all posts in the 31 Days in the Quiet series, go here.
7 thoughts on “31 Days in the Quiet: Shut It”
I would not have thought that about you. I am the opposite. I have always bent over backwards to keep the peace; to my own peril at times. Trying to please people to keep the peace is no better than arguing. I am learning how to stand firm but do not even want to try anymore. It doesn’t work. You should be so proud of yourself Marie; your honesty and strengths are showing up in your writing. Bank on them.
“Trying to please people to keep the peace is no better than arguing.”
I never would have guessed that about you either. I tend to “beat a dead horse” (ask John) or suffer in silence – depends on how angry or upset I am at the moment. I have tried “keeping the peace” but that doesn’t work either. I am learning (albeit slowly) to “pick my battles” and weigh the pros and cons of what can/cannot be gained by opening my mouth. Bless you for your honesty in what you write. Great stuff!
I’m passive-aggressive. Ask Chris. 🙂
Thank you for your encouragement! Means so much to me.
Oh, my. Thank you, Ena. I have enjoyed reading about your journey (though I am chronically bad at commenting!) I’m humbled that you would nominate me for this!