Five Minute Friday: Still

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Gentle Reader,

Hanging out with Kate and the gang. We are: still.

Go.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

And God.

Definitely God.

The two came together today in a sweet way. I was feeling discouraged and weary after my appointment with the surgical oncologist yesterday. He said that I need to have a biopsy, which means more waiting. I’m still going to have surgery, but the biopsy will determine what kind of surgery. As in, whether they will remove just the tumor or remove up to half of my liver.

Yeah.

I wanted so much to come out of the appointment with an action plan. I wanted dates and timelines. I wanted the operating theater booked.

Instead I’m waiting for a phone call from another doctor who’ll do the biopsy. And then I’ll wait for results. And then I’ll wait for the surgery.

This road has been so long. I made a decision months ago to trust God in this process, and I’m not wavering in that. I know He has a good plan for me. I know He’ll take care of me. But I’m tired. I’m ready to move on.

I prayed today (while in the staff bathroom, as one does when at work) and asked God to give me strength. I asked Him to lift me out of my discouragement and enable me to see joy. I asked Him to help me choose all that is positive and good.

When I got back to my desk, I found a little present and a lovely note from my coworker. Chocolate because it makes everything better and bubbles to ease the anxiety.

And God whispered into my heart, “I’m still here.”

Stop.

I am a wealthy woman. I really am. Everyone in my life has been incredibly supportive during this journey, and especially the last few weeks, the weeks of MRIs and oncologists. I’ve been cheered with inside jokes, heartened by good conversations, blessed through anointing and corporate prayer at church. Yes, I am tired. I am ready for this chapter to close. But God is with me. He still sees me. He still hears me. He has not given up.

So neither will I.

Grace and peace along the way.

31 Days with the Savior: Party

Gentle Reader,

“Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. Jesus said to them, ‘Fill the waterpots with water.’ And they filled them up to the brim. And He said to them, ‘Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.’ And they took it. When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. And he said to him, ‘Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!’

This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him. … The disciples of John came to Him, saying, ‘Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?’

And Jesus said to them, ‘Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?’” – John 2:6-11, Matthew 9:14-15a (NKJV)

Usually we focus on the miracle of the water being turned into wine. There’s nothing wrong with that; this was the first miracle that Jesus performed during his earthly ministry and it’s significant. But look at the context.

Jesus is at a wedding reception.

Jesus is at a party.

This wouldn’t be the last party he attended, either. He’d go wherever He was invited, attending everything from great feasts to intimate suppers with close friends like Mary, Martha and Lazarus. You don’t get invited to parties if you’re not fun to be around. And a lot of people had issues with that. Issues with Jesus enjoying Himself. I think we do, too. Somehow we’ve got this idea that the Savior is supposed to be this grand, intense, dour figure. Surely He never smiles. Surely He never tells a joke. Surely He doesn’t appreciate good food, good drink and good music.

If that’s your line of thinking, I invite you to spend some time considering the Scriptures above. Then look at this guy’s face:

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If the duck-billed platypus doesn’t convince you that the Lord has a sense of humor, that He’s fun to be around, you’re taking life way too seriously.

Grace and peace along the way.

For all entries in the Jesus: 31 Days with the Savior series, go here.