The Detox Diaries: Radio Silence

This picture doesn’t really have anything to do with the post. I took it about a month ago and just like it. I hope it makes you feel peaceful.

Gentle Reader,

It’s just after midnight.

I can’t sleep.

Truth is, I’m upset. About everything. It’s the chemicals (or lack thereof) in my brain. It’s the pain in my side, right where my liver sits, a pain that I had hoped would disappear upon a few hours of relief earlier this evening. It’s the heat. It’s the smoke in the air from the fires raging half a state away. It’s my mismatched furniture. It’s the stains on our carpets that will never go away no matter what cleaning process we use because the people who lived here before didn’t take care of anything. It’s my husband’s snoring. It’s the dogs barking.

There’s a good chance that the second I stop typing I’ll be a basket case.

Because I’ve learned the hard way that it’s best to avoid public writing when one’s emotions are out of check, I am going to be stepping away from here for the next couple of weeks. My plan is to join you again on August 4, but I’ll be honest and say that may not happen. August is usually the hottest month of the year around here, and therefore the hardest month for me.

I hope you all experience the wonderful blessing of feeling the tangible presence of God this day.

See you later.

Grace and peace along the way.

To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.

The Detox Diaries: Confidence

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Gentle Reader,

I’ve been working on memorizing a few passages of Scripture, one of them being Proverbs 31:25 -

I am clothed with strength and dignity. I laugh without fear of the future. (NLT; personalized and emphasis mine)

That’s what I want. I want to be in the moment and enjoy it without any fear of the near or distant future.

Matthew Poole, on this verse:

She lives in constant tranquility of mind, and a confident and cheerful expectation of all future events, how calamitous soever, partly because she hath laid in provisions of a rainy day, and chiefly because she hath the comfortable remembrance of a well-spent life, and, which follows thereupon, a just confidence in God’s gracious providence and promises made to such persons.

A just confidence in God’s gracious providence.

Yes.

Grace and peace along the way.

To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.

The Detox Diaries: Hulk Smash


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Gentle Reader,

Jesus and I did some business today.

My pastor is currently doing a series on idolatry and I realized that, in the increase of my anxiety, I was falling  into some of the same old traps. (Yesterday’s post touched on some of this). I have begun to set certain things on pedestals, things that definitely don’t belong on pedestals.

This realization? Made me angry.

By no means am I an artist, but I took some time this afternoon to draw representations of these idols. I also drew a sledgehammer and asked the Lord to smash these stupid, decaying idols into the dust of oblivion. He told me to do it myself. Oh, the deeply satisfying action of pounding! I imagined myself walking through a room of pedestals, stopping at each one. Deep breaths. A few practice swings to warm up.

WHAM! SMASH! CRASH!

Gone.

Done.

Idols are creepy. Literally. They creep into your life because the Enemy is in the business of enticement. Sometimes we turn our eyes toward death and darkness willingly. Sometimes we are convinced by the mirage that hides the truth. Other times the Devil just comes at you when you’re down, poking at your weak places.

That’s what he’s been doing with me.

Praise God, this time around I recognize the pattern. Certainly I am not out of the woods, not this side of Eternity. But I know what to do now. I know that:

Though I walk in the flesh, I do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of my warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. I am DESTROYING SPECULATIONS and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God and I am taking EVERY THOUGHT captive to the obedience of Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NASB, personalized and emphasis mine)

Speculations get me nowhere for they aren’t based in truth. Every thought, every last one, must be examined in His light.

When that light reveals some ugliness, you just gotta Hulk smash.

Grace and peace along the way.

To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.