A Prayer for Truth

Prayer in 2019

Gentle Reader,

Lord, Creator of all things, infinitely wise, majestic, holy
The One for Whom stars sing and sun shines
All atoms and pieces within held together by Your breath
Never sleeping, always seeing, forever working, full of grace
This year belongs to You

Your fingerprints and mercy cover every hour
The ones past and yet to come
For You sit, enthroned, outside of time, the King
Nothing can contain You, nothing will constrain You
None, no matter size or strength, can stand against You

Your plans and purposes will be accomplished
And all will see that they, that You, are so very good

Three days into this new year and already beset by worries
Pressures and old ways of being, deeply ingrained
I come to You, Beautiful Savior, and sit at Your feet
Here, surrounded by angel’s never-ceasing praises,
You lovingly and rightly speak

Every word that falls from Your lips is sweet
They fill my mind and warm my heart
Even as they pierce my soul – for my good
And with every piercing, comes a whisper of love
A balm for righteous wounds

You are not mean and awful, as some say
But truly kind, wholly true, ever-faithful

God, You count the lies I keep, held tight
Pulled close, afraid to let them go
They are what I know, what I feel, what I can see
If I open palm in release, what, Lord, then?
Exchanging these for truth is an ongoing battle

Yes, the battle – one into which to press, to engage
Yes, the fear – but truth more needed than routine
Yes, the ache – but this too will soon pass
Yes, the step – of faith, of hope, of love, of trust
Yes, the word – please Jesus, yes

You are my Savior, my Friend, my Great Reward
In You, in truth, I dwell this year

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Lead Me, Teach Me

Truth

Gentle Reader,

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.

– Psalm 25:5 (NKJV, emphasis mine)

Truth: that which is in accordance with fact or reality. Verity, certainty, sincerity, honest, accurate, correct. A fundamental characteristic of God; He cannot and will not lie.

Normally, I place little stock in choosing a word for the year. There’s nothing wrong with the practice; I have – rather half-heartedly and forgetfully – done it before. I am wary of probing for deep significance in a single word, however. There is something unsettling about hoping for one string of letters to define or guide a 12-month cycle. I prefer sentences, paragraphs, entire books, because context, the way a word is used as intended by the author, always matters.

This year, there’s a shift in my thinking.

Lead me in Your truth, the psalmist writes. Not a truth. Not any truth. Your truth.

The truth.

In this relativistic society, metanarrative, an overarching story that gives meaning and purpose to all of life, is hardly in vogue. We are taught that it’s never correct to imply, let alone baldly state, that there is such a thing as truth, and that that truth is the same for each and every person. Themes of sin and salvation are rejected for “do what thou wilt,” a maxim coined by the twentieth century British occultist Aleister Crowley. I do my thing, you do your thing, everyone’s thing is perfectly valid.

This is what we like to think we believe, and what we give lip-service to, but just read through a Facebook comment thread (or, better yet, Tumblr), and, ironically, the truth is there, plain as day. All beliefs, behaviors and opinions are not, in fact, equal; the one that wins the day is usually the one that the majority of people in that particular space agree upon. This is not merely a religious phenomenon (see: sports fandoms and political philosophies).

We reject metanarrative while seeking to build one.

As creatures with free will and high thinking skills, we get to choose. Take the story laid out in Scripture or make our own story. Sit at God’s feast-table and indulge in the delicacies or scrounge for scraps from here and there. Completion or cobbled-together-ness.

I have wasted too much precious time and headspace on stories that aren’t true. Stories about the world, about others, about myself, about God. Oh, yes. Christians aren’t immune. We can ignore the delicacies and chase the scraps. Why else would someone like me struggle with a sense of identity or purpose? God says, black-and-white, that I am His child, His royal daughter. God says, clear-and-plain, that He has called and gifted me. I say that I believe these things, that I accept this metanarrative…and then live otherwise.

Perhaps you struggle as well.

This year, I intend to dwell on truth. Not the word itself, but all the words that come from the mind and heart of God. I will sit at His feet, as Mary did on that day so long ago. I want to know, need to know, His commands. His perspective. His way. But not this only; I need to know Him. In a new, deeper, richer way. Because He Himself is truth itself.

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They Say It’s My Birthday

Along the Way @ mlsgregg.com

Gentle Reader,

Today I am 33.

And it’s stupid hot outside, so I’m hiding in the house, next to the air conditioner, shades drawn. There’s a small rectangle between the top of the couch and the bottom of the blinds that allows me to peek out on a scorching, quiet world. Nobody is out-and-about. The rose bushes climbing up the trellis look a little sad. The dogs alternate between panting and snoozing.

It’s August.

I feel kind of sorry for making my mom go into labor during such a miserable time of year (as if I had any control over that). I was supposed to show up at the end of the month or even in early September. But I was in a rush, three weeks early. Bald-headed and a little over five pounds. My dad tells me that I came into the world with my eyes wide open, which I like to think was a sign of the curiosity and hunger for understanding that remains with me.

I’ve reached yet another transitional season of adulthood. I’m not young and stupid, but I’m also not old and wise. I know enough to know better, but not enough to always foresee the oncoming bend in the road. People begin to seek my advice on serious issues like faith and relationships, which is completely frightening. Most scary of all, I’m old enough to have been married long enough to start being looked upon as an example for other, younger wives.

Yikes.

I can’t help but take that seriously.

Today I wonder what kind of advice I can really offer to anyone. The better part of wisdom is knowing just how much you don’t know. Despite all my reading, all my studying – I know very little. But perhaps it’s not about the quantity of knowledge, but rather the quality of knowledge.

With that in mind, I move to pondering what I might wish to say if this were my last birthday. Yeah, yeah. Some of you find that morbid. Hike up your big kid britches. We’re all going to shed this leaky tent; some of us are forced to face that fact sooner than we’d prefer. I am painfully aware on a daily basis that this skin-suit is going to stop working one day. I have no delusions of immortality, none that are beyond the life eternal promised in Christ Jesus.

On this day, then, I want to leave you with some of the truest words I know, the best pieces of wisdom that will light the way through any darkness:

…what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again.

Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented— of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth.

And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. …

Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. …

How can a young man cleanse his way?

By taking heed according to Your word.

With my whole heart I have sought You;

Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!

Your word I have hidden in my heart,

That I might not sin against You.

Blessed are You, O Lord!

Teach me Your statutes.

With my lips I have declared

All the judgments of Your mouth.

I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,

As much as in all riches.

I will meditate on Your precepts,

And contemplate Your ways.

I will delight myself in Your statutes;

I will not forget Your word. …

For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing. …

“…I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

– Hebrews 11:32-12:3; 1 Timothy 6:6-10; 1 John 2:15-17; Psalm 119:9-16; 2 Timothy 4:6-8; Matthew 28:20b (NKJV)

Look to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus. Follow Jesus. Rest in Jesus.

Now, instead of singing happy birthday to me, go and sing to Him.

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Linking up with Suzanne EllerHolley Gerth and  Susan Mead.

The Detox Diaries: Confidence

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Gentle Reader,

I’ve been working on memorizing a few passages of Scripture, one of them being Proverbs 31:25 –

I am clothed with strength and dignity. I laugh without fear of the future. (NLT; personalized and emphasis mine)

That’s what I want. I want to be in the moment and enjoy it without any fear of the near or distant future.

Matthew Poole, on this verse:

She lives in constant tranquility of mind, and a confident and cheerful expectation of all future events, how calamitous soever, partly because she hath laid in provisions of a rainy day, and chiefly because she hath the comfortable remembrance of a well-spent life, and, which follows thereupon, a just confidence in God’s gracious providence and promises made to such persons.

A just confidence in God’s gracious providence.

Yes.

My journey to faith. (15)

To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.