I had planned to join the party last night, but a headache and planning lessons for the Pre-K Sunday School class kept me away. (How did I become the preschool teacher again?)
Kate asks us to: forget.
The Right Dishonorable Lady Derptina Idiocia McJankerstein. Also known as “Moronica Jones.”
I named my liver.
Would like to forget about her because she’s stupid and refuses to work properly. We aren’t speaking right now. I have nothing to say to her. She keeps giving me a gigantic middle finger.
But I can’t forget about her. I have to watch what I eat and walk what feels like 100 miles a day (it really only averages out around three; that’s all my body has energy for) to try and make her happy. Despite these efforts, there’s no pleasing her. She just stays swollen and gives me pain and nausea.
The Lord led me to these words the other day as I indulged in a good, frustrated cry:
Truly God is good to Israel,
To such as are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled;
My steps had nearly slipped.
For I was envious of the boastful,
When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For there are no pangs in their death,
But their strength is firm.
They are not in trouble as other men,
Nor are they plagued like other men.
Therefore pride serves as their necklace;
Violence covers them like a garment.
Their eyes bulge with abundance;
They have more than heart could wish.
They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression;
They speak loftily.
They set their mouth against the heavens,
And their tongue walks through the earth.
Therefore his people return here,
And waters of a full cup are drained by them.
And they say, “How does God know?
And is there knowledge in the Most High?”
Behold, these are the ungodly,
Who are always at ease;
They increase in riches.
Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain,
And washed my hands in innocence.
For all day long I have been plagued,
And chastened every morning.
If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children.
When I thought how to understand this,
It was too painful for me—
Until I went into the sanctuary of God;
Then I understood their end.
Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.
Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment!
They are utterly consumed with terrors.
As a dream when one awakes,
So, Lord, when You awake,
You shall despise their image.
Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
That I may declare all Your works.
– Psalm 73 (NKJV; emphasis mine)
Much as I’d like to forget about that malfunctioning organ, I can’t. And so I cannot, must not, forget about God. He alone is my strength, my comfort, the uplifter of my head.
When the tears stain my face and the pain is great, He is there.
And He is good.