I had a different post in mind for today, something about basic logic and the insanity of our world. These words may yet come at a later time, but right now I simply don’t have the energy or the brain power for them. As the meme says, “I can’t brain today. I has the dumb.”
Truth is, I feel pretty awful. Chris and I went out to celebrate our anniversary on Saturday, which was cut short by my sudden desire to either faint or vomit. Both seemed like viable options. (As of today, I have done neither and I really wish I would. I think I’d feel better). My liver or at least the space around my liver is swollen and painful. Can’t really eat. There’s pressure behind my eyes; not quite a headache but enough to be irritating. Yesterday afternoon I fell asleep on the couch and didn’t realize it. Didn’t even hear my husband moving around or the dogs barking, which is unheard of for a light sleeper like me.
I don’t know what’s going on. Since I had a CT scan to check on all this stuff last Friday morning, I’m hoping that the timing of that test and this attack/flare-up/whatever has been orchestrated by God so that my doctor can easily diagnose and treat the problem. I’ll be seeing him on Wednesday.
So, instead of some sarcasm, I give you this:
You can trust God.
It would be easy for me to stop trusting God. It would be easy for me to become furious with Him. Why won’t He heal me? Why won’t He release me from this? Why do I have to suffer? All legitimate questions, really. All questions that I suspect each one of us will have to wrestle with before shedding these tents of flesh.
I don’t know the answers to those questions. Well, I know about things like the effects of sin. I know how genetic mutations arise and how they are never a good thing (so much for naturalistic evolution). What I don’t know is why this is happening to me. I don’t know why this has been allowed or why it’s part of the plan.
But I do know that I can trust God. It’s the hard choice. Sometimes excruciatingly hard. Yet when I want to let go of the cliff-face and drop into the sea of despair below, the beauty of His dear face above arrests me. His voice urges me on. His hand grips mine, no matter my weakness. He grants me eyes to see something good, something eternal, in the midst of the battering storm.
When the tsunami comes, He covers my body with His.
When the winds howl, He pulls the hood tight over my head.
When the pain stabs at my side, He holds me close.
He has not abandoned me. He never will.
Be encouraged today. Whatever you face, however bleak it seems, you can trust God.
8 thoughts on “You Can Trust God”
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
ESPECIALLY WHEN WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!
OK, Marie, you hang in there. However dark it gets, however long the odds seem, however far you fall, you are NEVER out of the fight.
We can’t know the why, but this is the way I look at it, and perhaps it’ll help.
There’s a war going on, and we trust God as our CO. He makes the decisions, he makes the deployments of His resources – us – according to the best way to meet and defeat the enemy.
We don’t have the big picture. He does.
And like any combat leader, sometimes He has to put His people in harm’s way. It’s not what He wants to do, it’s not because He doesn’t care…and it’s not even necessarily ‘chosen’ just for us. We’re what He has to work with at the time, and He trusts us to carry out His orders, to carry out our duties.
If we are hurt, He will send help; we may be hurt to badly to save, but He will never leave us behind. He will mourn our pain, and if it comes to that, our death.
We can’t know what we contribute in our fear, our pain…but know this, the outcome of a major battle can come down to a single Marine rifleman who stays at his (or her!) post, and fights hand-to-hand when the enemy gets through the wire. Each of has a job to do, and each of us is important.
You keep fighting. Don’t worry about the why; you’re where you are. Cover your sector, and leave the big picture to The Man.
I will be praying for you.
This really spoke to my heart, Andrew. Appreciate you.
And I appreciate you, Marie. Your forthright wisdom and faith have illuminated some dark paths through scary places.
Marie, this is beautiful! You should post it in our group 🙂
I might. And thanks. 🙂
This quote is more focused the challenges of marriage but I believe the core message applies to any challenge, including yours:
I like that, James.