All the awesome ladies and all the fantastic dudes. The Twitter party. The discussion about cilantro. (For the record, it’s horrible).
Kate. Five Minute Friday. We: keep.
I was supposed to post on Monday. It’s my day off, so I have time to think and choose my words carefully. It’s my self-imposed writing schedule, without which I will put off the need to tap the keys because it’s not as “important” as other stuff.
But I couldn’t this week.
I had to keep quiet.
Can’t write when I’m angry.
It was a hard lesson to learn and one I’ve definitely not perfected, but I have been foolish enough in the past to hit “publish” on a post that just didn’t need to see the light of day. I’ve used this blog to get in little jabs at people, little digs. That’s never right, and there have been a couple of times when those punches have been thrown for no reason at all. As in I had the wrong information. As in I made a completely unfounded call.
If I must express emotion in written form, I’ve learned to confine it to my journal, where God alone sees. Then it doesn’t matter if it’s coherent or kind. It doesn’t matter if there are large scribbles between paragraphs. I get to tattle on people and blow off steam. Nobody gets hurt in the process.
Strange thing, this learning to keep quiet while at the same time learning to speak up. I know I touched on this last week, but it’s an unfolding reality for me. Words are powerful – but silence can be equally powerful. Both require wisdom and bravery.
So I’m keeping it in for now. Keeping quiet until the heat fades and I can approach the topic from a place of appropriate passion and godly grace.
When God decides that it’s time for you to grow, it doesn’t come easily. So many lessons about silence and speech. And a realization that, while I may not be explosive, I really do have a bad temper. I heard somewhere once that sarcasm is just anger with a smile on. While I love a good zinger, there is some truth to that. Some truth that I need to examine more closely.