After a month away from the #fmfparty, I got to chat with my friends tonight. My sisters. It is a beautiful thing, how Christ connects people who have never met face-to-face.
It’s Kate and the gang. We: send.
As I drove home from work last night, I was struck by how God has gone out of His way to preserve my life. I came close to dying in utero. Then the doctors thought I had brain damage. The first of three eye surgeries, my heart stopped while I was on the operating table. I was in a school bus accident. A mysterious illness in middle school left me passing out at random for months afterward. My first boyfriend pulled the emergency break on a icy road and my side of the car came within inches of smashing into a light pole. Nearly carried out a suicide plan three-and-half years ago. A damaged gallbladder that had to be removed. And then the tumor.
I am…stunned. Really. To think that the Lord would see me through such storms, that He would keep me alive and kicking….
There are days when I question why I’m here. I wonder about the purpose of my life. Yet clearly there is a reason I’m still breathing. God would not send such grace to me if there wasn’t. He would not have kept me from death if I had fulfilled whatever it is He has planned for me.
This gives me a boost of boldness and confidence. The evidence of His sustaining and protective hand makes me feel incredibly, overwhelmingly loved. And as the apostle said:
“…love casts out fear…” – 1 John 4:18 (NKJV)
I can speak the truth. I can walk with my head held high. I don’t have to be afraid of the opinions or schemes of others. If I can hold on to this truth, maybe He will send me into the lives of those who need their own fears blasted out of the water by His amazing, unending love. This is a message I will gladly share.