The Long Road

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Gentle Reader,

I thought it would be better by now.

The seven-and-a-half months leading up to December 12…. Wearying. That’s the best word I’ve got for it. I knew that surgery would be hard. I knew that recovery would be tough. I guess I just didn’t know how tough. I didn’t know that my incision would start hurting just when that place on my side stopped. I didn’t know that the swelling would wax and wane repeatedly. I didn’t know that one night I would sleep for 12 hours and the next night I wouldn’t sleep at all. I didn’t know how completely freaked out I would get by the numbness in my torso.

Wearying.

I thought I was coming to the end of the long road, and I know that I am in some ways. But in others I see it stretching out before me, unending, into the horizon. I have to avoid close contact with kids because major surgery, especially liver surgery, really knocks down the immune system. So that means stepping away from the mid-week kid’s class at church. I can expect pain in my abdomen for weeks. The ugly black dog of post-surgery depression nips at my heels. I wake up in an anxious sweat in the middle of the night.

My heart swells with compassion for those who have been through this. My brother…I admire him. He’s been through three surgeries in the last two years and is facing another. It takes a lot of heart, a lot of faith, a lot of sheer grit to go through this.

So be tender. Be gentle with those who walk the long road.

My journey to faith. (15)

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9 thoughts on “The Long Road

  1. I can only imagine while my heart feels for you. Please know that I will be praying for you and your brother. God bless you and strengthen you along this road you are traveling. May your weary days fade soon. May His grace be sufficient as you lean on Him during these tough times. Sending a hug your way. ~ Terra

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  2. im sorry you are weary from all of this, when I got my surgery I was told is was super easy and quick recovery and then I had several hiccups that made recovery awful, I was so weary. I thought I was so hard on myself that I wasn’t tougher, that I wasn’t healing the way I thought I should or how others thought, I went into such a depression over it all made worse by it being the winter, I thought it would never get better but it eventually did, I am praying for you, one day it will all be a memory.

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