I made a mistake at work. The kind of mistake that makes people upset. Really upset.
When I was made aware of this mistake, I was mortified. Like, earth-please-open-up-and-swallow-me-now mortified. Not even the fact that it was an honest mistake, that I had been trying to be helpful, soothed my feelings. Irrational visions of a screaming boss and pink slips danced in my head. Trying to do what I could to own up to my responsibility and smooth the situation over as much as possible, I sent out an email to the offended parties, apologizing and assuring them it would not happen again.
And then I went into the staff bathroom and cried.
If this had happened a month ago, I would have been mildly embarrassed. I would have sent the emails, beaten myself up a little and moved on.
Dabbing at my eyes to prevent my make-up from smearing, I heard the Spirit speak clearly:
That was a brave thing to do.
The tears didn’t stop right away and the sense of being a slug is with me even now. But that one sentence kept me from falling over the precipice. I looked at myself in the mirror and affirmed what I knew to be true: I am loved, chosen, accepted and redeemed. In light of eternity, this mistake is nothing. I am a daughter of the King, a Princess.
Today’s heaping serving of crow was a valuable lesson. First, even though it was painful and embarrassing, I chose the path of integrity. Instead of getting defensive, I owned up to what I did. And then not only did I hear God, I listened. Instead of latching on to lies, I grabbed hold of truth.
I think I’m going to cry again.
Grace and peace along the way.
For all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.