In 2014

Gentle Reader,

I’ve come across several entries on the interwbes discussing the idea of one word for the new year. While I don’t believe that words carry any kind of mystical power, I do believe that the ideas contained within the lacing together of letters can be impactful. Deeply so. I also believe that God speaks to us through all available avenues, including blogging fads. Thus, I pondered, prayed, and kept arriving at this:

Chalkboard

This word pulls at me. It prompts many questions. When to speak and when to not? When to let the music flow and when to turn it off? When to plunge in with the crowd and when to pull away? When to write about ________ and when to let it go? When to share and when to keep secret?

Silence…I’m good at that. And so maybe the Spirit brought this word to the surface as a reminder that silence is not always golden.

I’ve also seen posts detailing a verse chosen for the new year. Usually, I would roll my eyes. Scripture is deep, complex and fascinating. How can one (or two) verses be enough to ponder for an entire twelve-month cycle?

And then I read this:

Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” – Luke 7:50 (NKJV)

These are the ending words in a fantastic scene involving a self-righteous man, a woman with a bad reputation and an ever-wise Savior. They ring around the corners of my heart. I am often guilty of worrying about whether or not I’m really saved; whether or not God could truly forgive someone like me. I know my failings all too well. And you, dear reader, know all about my incessant anxiety regarding…everything. So, what a pronouncement! “Marie, your faith in Me has saved you. That issue is settled. Walk with Me in peace.”

What this new year holds, I don’t know, but I’m already intrigued by the intersecting of silence, faith and peace. And I have a sense of power, of being uniquely and specifically equipped for the battle I face. Any time fear comes up, I can recall those words. I can remember that Jesus assured that “wicked woman” of her place in Him. I can be sure that the same applies to me.

I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know if you’re glad to see 2013 roll away or if you’re dreading the turning of the calendar. I don’t know if you’re feeling lonely or elated, sad or blessed. But there is one sure thing as we step into 365 sparkling days: God is. God is there. God is good. God is faithful.

God loves you.

My journey to faith. (15)

Advertisements

Just a Shepherd

Gentle Reader,

The following is a short story written for the children’s group I help teach on Wednesday evenings. I hope it blesses you.

{ image source }

Sometimes I feel little. Unimportant. I think that nobody notices me, that I can’t be part of anything special. I get focused on the bad things I’ve done, the bad things people say about me. I get worried that they are right.

But then I remember…

Luke 1:26-37

God sent the angel Gabriel to a city called Nazareth, to a girl engaged to a man named Joseph. The girl’s name was Mary. The angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”

When Mary heard what Gabriel said, she was afraid. She didn’t understand. “Do not be afraid, Mary,” Gabriel went on to say, “for you have found favor with God. You will get pregnant and have a Son, and you will call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His ancestor, King David. And He will reign over Israel forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”

Then Mary said to the angel, “How will this happen, since I’m not married?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will wash over you; therefore, the Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. … For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph was sad when he found out that Mary was pregnant. The baby definitely wasn’t his! But Joseph was also a kind man, so he decided to end their engagement quietly. He wouldn’t expose her to public shame.

As Joseph was sleeping that night, after he had made his decision, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph … do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the baby in her is from the Holy Spirit! She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him. He kept his engagement to Mary.

Luke 2:1-7

A few months later, the king, Caesar Augustus, issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. He wanted to know how many people were living in his empire. Everyone had to sign in, and they had to go to their hometown to do it.

So Joseph went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem, the town of his ancestor, King David. He went there to register with Mary, who was engaged to be married to him and was expecting a child. When they got there, the time came for the baby to be born! There was no room for Joseph and Mary in any home or hotel. They had to settle for a small space in a dirty, stinky barn with lots of noisy animals. Mary gave birth to Jesus there. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in the manger.

That’s where I come in.

I’m a shepherd. I live out in the hills with my sheep. People don’t like me very much. They think that I’m dirty and smelly and that I steal. But I don’t! I eat the meat and drink the milk that comes from my sheep, and I use the wool they give me for my clothes. I get sad whenever a sheep has to die, but I thank God for how He takes care of me.

I love my sheep. I have names for each one of them, and they will only follow me. I’ve been their shepherd since they were babies. Lambs. They know my voice and they won’t listen to anyone else. They are my best friends.

That one night, the night that Jesus was born, I was young. I was hanging out with my sheep on the hillside near the town of Bethlehem. I had to go there to sign in on the census for the king. There were some other shepherds who had to sign in, too. I recognized some of their faces, but we didn’t really talk. We were all used to being with the animals.

It was quiet. The flocks had settled down for sleep and only the occasional “baaaa!” could be heard. I leaned against my crook, feeling tired myself. Suddenly…

Luke 2:9-20

An angel of the Lord appeared! The glory of the Lord was bright and it was all around me and the other shepherds! We were terrified! But the angel said, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And then too many angels to count appeared behind the first angel! They praised God, saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Just as suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone. We were all quiet for a second, but then we all started talking excitedly. We were all saying the same thing: “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about!” We didn’t even think about the sheep, but they followed us anyway.

So we hurried off and hunted through the town. In that tiny, stinky, noisy barn, we found Mary and Joseph. They looked so tired and…I can’t put my finger on it. Surprised, maybe. And the baby! The baby who was lying in the manger. I was the first one to get to Him. I knelt down and my heart stopped. He looked just like a normal baby, but I knew. I knew. I was looking at the Savior.

I didn’t realize that I had started crying. I was just a shepherd. Insignificant. Unimportant. People didn’t like me. They thought I was bad. But God sent an angel to tell me – me! – about this Baby. This Savior. The other shepherds crowded around the rough manger and, one by one, I looked at their faces. I could tell that they felt the same way.

I don’t know how long we all sat there, but the sun was up when I finally noticed the stiffness in my knees. The Baby began to fuss and his mother, Mary, gently pushed us aside and went into a corner to feed Him. I heard voices complaining about all the sheep crowding the narrow street. In a rush, I darted out of the barn and told the first person I saw about what had happened, about what I’d seen. We all did.

We spread the word concerning what had been told us about this Child, and all who heard it were amazed at what we said to them. Slowly, we returned to the hills, glorifying and praising God for all the things we had heard and seen.

I am old now. Many years have gone by. But I haven’t forgotten. Jesus grew up in Nazareth; He helped Joseph in the carpenter’s shop. Then one day He left and went all throughout Judea. He told people about God, and His kingdom and about how we needed to be saved from our sins. When I heard about His preaching, I tried to find Him, but we never seemed to be in the same place. And I had to take care of my sheep.

After three years, Jesus was arrested. My heart hurt. I thought about the little Baby I had seen. I thought about how the angel said that He would save us. I didn’t understand. It got even worse when I found out that they had put Him to death on a cross. I lost my hope. I was even mean to my sheep.

But then! Then! Jesus rose from the dead! I was just bringing my flock into the hills around Jerusalem when it happened. Somehow everyone knew about it. My heart did a flip-flop and my brain did a twist.

But then! I saw Him. I SAW JESUS. The little Baby was now a Man, a Man with holes in His hands and in His side. But it was the same face. It was the same eyes, the eyes that had looked into mine when I peered into the manger. I knew it was Him. I knew it was my Lord.

Sometimes I feel little. Unimportant. I think that nobody notices me, that I can’t be part of anything special. I get focused on the bad things I’ve done, the bad things people say about me. I get worried that they are right.

But then I remember. I remember the angels and Mary and Joseph and the animals and the Baby. I remember the stars and the empty tomb and the holes in His hands and feet. And I know that He loves me. I know that He died and rose again. I know that He did it for me.

And I know that He did it for you, too.

Romans 10:9

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Merry Christmas!

My journey to faith. (15)

The Promise

{ image source }

Gentle Reader,

My mom asked me yesterday if there was anything in this world that doesn’t stress me out after I got nervous over a partially-consumed glass of milk sitting on the dining room table.

“Not really,” I replied. “That’s why I’m on medication, remember?”

She rolled her eyes and I smiled, because there is humor in that answer. Sock seams. Glasses of milk. Dishes that need to be returned to their owners. Laundry. I recognize the ridiculous nature of many of my compulsions and worries.

I am also thankful for them.

The hubby and I had our first official shift at the women’s and children’s shelter last Friday evening. We were introduced to all sorts of things, from operating the security cameras to locking the facility to evening med calls. We helped check in the residents for the evening, read case notes and started the process of matching names with faces. Chris played with some of the kids.  When 9 o’clock rolled around, we were both surprised at how quickly the time had passed.

I expected to be overwhelmed at the prospect of interacting with women who have lived extremely difficult lives, but I felt strangely comfortable. I don’t understand addiction and I’ve never experienced the kind of violence that might lead a woman and her children to the streets. But I do have a pill schedule. I do know what it is to feel so afraid that the emotion translates into numbness. I do battle the drive to push things down, to shove them aside, to soothe the pain. Each woman at the shelter, if she really commits to the program, comes in with all of this as her reality. She’s at the end of herself. She has nowhere else to go.

There is a rawness, a realness, to a community made up of those who have no time for bull. I don’t know their stories yet, but I can already sense, even in my limited time among them, that these ladies hunger for what is true. They’ve seen every face. They’ve been every face. They still struggle with playing the game. But they want out of it. They want something more. Something better.

In that, I find the promise of Advent.

There is hope to be found in every bad decision. There is grace to be had in every fear. We surely do live in the consequences, but even there, we do not have to be alone. Consider:

Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel. – Genesis 3:14b-15 (NKJV)

Even as the Lord enacted the Curse, the just results of the actions of Adam, Eve and all subsequent generations, He offered salvation. He promised that One would come who would bring righteousness, peace and hope. Scripture is liberally doused with reminders of this promise:

The people who walked in darkness
Have seen a great light;
Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death,
Upon them a light has shined.

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this. – Isaiah 9:2, 6-7 (NKJV)

The people who walked in darkness. The women who walked the streets. Those who dwelt in the shadow of death. The women who spent their last dime on a fix. They have seen a great light. Upon them a light has shined.

Marie, who walked in darkness. Who nearly drowned in a sea of fear. Who crawled near the cliff of oblivion. I have seen a great light. Upon me a light has shined.

I thank God that He has saved me from myself, but I also thank Him that He has allowed me to identify, in some small measure, with the rough roads these beautiful women have walked. That is the promise of Advent. He came to save and in the saving, leaves the scars that enable us to reach out to others.

Whoever and wherever you are, there is a light. It pierces the darkness of your bad choices, your irresponsibility and the things that were forced on you. It bathes every wound and every secret place in tenderness. The light beckons you.

Jesus beckons you.

My journey to faith. (15)