Taking the last few weeks away from the blog has forced me to consider the time and effort that good, solid writing requires. I have had the beginnings of a serious project lined up since late summer, but fear and allowing myself to be distracted have kept me from starting. To craft a book, the kind I know that I am supposed to, is a serious commitment. What if I can’t do it?
Interestingly, I discover that I have had to work to keep the fear and the distractions going. The Lord has been pulling one thing after another out of my life; I have to find things to replace them. Once I actually sit down with all those research materials and start plucking at the keyboard, I know that I’ll be lost in the process. I know that I will regret not starting sooner.
Such is the nature of disobedience.
So, what are my resolutions or goals for 2013?
They can be summed up in one word: Discipline.
I want the self-control to (in no particular order):
1. Develop a writing schedule (subject to flights of inspiration and battles with writer’s block, of course). I’m getting nearer to 30. It’s time to be truly adult and serious about this.
2. Begin AND finish the project to which said schedule will be devoted.
3. Read through the entire Bible. I have a reading plan and a chronological study Bible that should aid in this. (In the past, I’ve always gotten bogged down in the Kings/Chronicles narratives. You’d think it would be Leviticus…).
4. Memorize 24 passages of Scripture, via the LPM Siesta Scripture Memory Team.
5. Disconnect from social media for long stretches of time.
6. Refuse to be part of any gossip or drama. Period.
7. Stop trying to people-please. This means speaking the truth at all times.
8. Stop indulging whiners or victims. We all have hard times, we all have bad days, and of course it’s okay to blow off steam or get emotional. I’m happy to stand beside anyone in that. But there comes a time in some when patterns begin to emerge and enough is enough.
9. Turn my anxieties over to the Lord. I have not yet learned to be “anxious for nothing” (Phil. 4:6) but I think that may come in the casting of the burdens upon His lap (1 Pt. 5:7).
10. Wake up at the same time every day. This might be the hardest thing on this list. Life with CFIDS is complicated, but becomes moreso with variances in sleep routine.
11. In relation to the above, I need to stick to the walking/yoga/stretching.
The first four goals on this list are the only ones with specific, attainable-this-year outcomes. The rest are all lifestyle changes that I’ve been working on for awhile now and may well continue to work on into the coming years. And that’s okay. I believe that we are all too obsessed with measurable achievement. Some victories are small and never seen. Some things are never finished this side of Heaven.
Easily enough written, but that list is mighty overwhelming at the moment. Thankfully, in the quest for discipline, I am not left alone:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.- Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV)