Five Minute Friday: Still

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Gentle Reader,

Hanging out with Kate and the gang. We are: still.

Go.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

And God.

Definitely God.

The two came together today in a sweet way. I was feeling discouraged and weary after my appointment with the surgical oncologist yesterday. He said that I need to have a biopsy, which means more waiting. I’m still going to have surgery, but the biopsy will determine what kind of surgery. As in, whether they will remove just the tumor or remove up to half of my liver.

Yeah.

I wanted so much to come out of the appointment with an action plan. I wanted dates and timelines. I wanted the operating theater booked.

Instead I’m waiting for a phone call from another doctor who’ll do the biopsy. And then I’ll wait for results. And then I’ll wait for the surgery.

This road has been so long. I made a decision months ago to trust God in this process, and I’m not wavering in that. I know He has a good plan for me. I know He’ll take care of me. But I’m tired. I’m ready to move on.

I prayed today (while in the staff bathroom, as one does when at work) and asked God to give me strength. I asked Him to lift me out of my discouragement and enable me to see joy. I asked Him to help me choose all that is positive and good.

When I got back to my desk, I found a little present and a lovely note from my coworker. Chocolate because it makes everything better and bubbles to ease the anxiety.

And God whispered into my heart, “I’m still here.”

Stop.

I am a wealthy woman. I really am. Everyone in my life has been incredibly supportive during this journey, and especially the last few weeks, the weeks of MRIs and oncologists. I’ve been cheered with inside jokes, heartened by good conversations, blessed through anointing and corporate prayer at church. Yes, I am tired. I am ready for this chapter to close. But God is with me. He still sees me. He still hears me. He has not given up.

So neither will I.

Grace and peace along the way.

Five Minute Friday: Dare

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Gentle Reader,

‘Tis the time. The five minute time. The (kind of) Friday time. It’s Kate. It’s the crew.

It’s a: dare.

Go.

I have many sweet memories involving my teen-aged girlfriends. We’d all pile into someone’s room, or a tent in the backyard, and giggle over girlish things until the wee hours of the morning. Or until a parent yelled at us. We’d eat ourselves into a sugar- and pizza-coma.

It was beautiful.

One hot, sticky, early-autumn evening, we were squashed in that tent, sharing secrets and gushing over a certain older boy we all had a crush on. And, of course, we played “Truth or Dare.” It escalated. It always escalated. The gal whose house we were staying at had one of those wonderful creatures known as a cute boy next door. So, naturally, we tried to get his attention all evening.

And then someone dared me to run around the tent. In my pajamas.

I did it.

It was awesome.

We squealed with laughter and wondered if he’d seen me.

I wonder what happened to that girl. When did she get so bogged down with worries? What happened to the girl who would run barefoot through sprinkler-soaked grass while her friends smothered their faces in pillows to keep from screaming?  Her stride was confident, her smile easy and free.

I want to find her again.

Stop.

I really do what to find her again. I want to find the part of myself that was able to let go of cares. Maybe that’s why I’ve been watching and listening to so much comedy lately. It’s a heavy world these days and I just want to get a little lighter. Feel a little brighter.

I’m thinking that maybe you, dear one, want that, too.

So, a challenge. Have some fun tomorrow! Do something, eat something, watch something, listen to something, sing something, read something that brings a smile to your face. Just because. Don’t think about calories or schedules or the “should’s.” Find a little slice of blessing in this here place and devour it. Soak it up with gusto.

And know that the Lord sent it to you.

Grace and peace along the way.

Five Minute Friday: Care

Gentle Reader,

Linking up with the #FMF crowd over at Kate’s¬†place. Tonight we: care.

Go.

I care about a lot of things. And people.

In fact, I’m often overwhelmed with cares. This past week has been no exception as I’ve been experiencing those first, lovely, nausea-filled days of adjusting to a pain medication. (At least it doesn’t effect my sad ol’ liver).

Maybe you’re overwhelmed or burdened tonight. So here are some funny videos from the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. His comedy has gotten me through some tough moments in the last…wow, decade or so. (I feel old now). If you’re not a fan, pass on by. But I hope you’ll get a good laugh.

Stop.

Keep your sense of humor, friends.

Grace and peace along the way.