Gentle Reader,
There is a light at the end of the tunnel of busyness.
Maybe it’s a freight train…
Kate says: lack.
Go.
I lack the ability to see myself as others see me.
Yes, of course, we all deal with that. We’re all surprised by the compliments (and criticisms) that seem to come out of left field. But me, I’m far less taken aback by the criticism. Maybe it’s because, left to my own devices, I’m a real pessimist. Maybe it’s because we women are incessantly told that we don’t measure up to an ever-changing standard. Maybe it’s because I spend far too little time immersed in the healing, loving presence of God, something that I suspect is an issue for many, if not most of us. (I might relate hardcore to Martha and her need to get the chores done).
All I know for sure is that, when I’m complimented, I have no idea how to respond.
It’s not false modesty. It’s not fishing for more compliments.
It’s, “Huh. He really likes me. She said something nice. Why?”
Brain can’t make it compute.
A reminder for me: What I say truly matters. Can really make a difference. Because there have to be others like me out there who’ve latched onto the rough words rather than the smooth. There have to be others who, while not engaged in active self-hate, see themselves as…lacking. And in that sense of lacking, then lack the ability to see the good that others do, the good that God placed there.
Lord, I know that I can’t control my tongue. Any bridling comes straight from Your hands. So Father, please, come reign over my words. The words I speak to others. The words I speak to myself. The words I speak to You. Let my lips be ones that drip with the honey of kindness, gentleness, grace and truth.
Stop.
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I truly like the prayer at the end and I will add my hearty “Amen” because I need the Lord to do that for me as well!
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For sure! We all do!
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I’m very much like you in this area, Marie! I’ve always struggled with compliments. My husband once pointed our that when I was complimented, I answered with a not so nice thing about myself. I hurt his feelings sometimes by deflecting his compliments and maybe I did the same to others, too. I hate that. A dear friend suggested not so long ago, that when I receive a compliment I simply and sincerely respond, “To God be the glory!” This has really helped me! I will also echo your prayer for help! (Probably more than once!!!)
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I’ve never thought about my refusal to accept compliments as being hurtful to others. Huh. Something to ponder!
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Thank you for your honest post. It is awkward to confront the disconnection. I have been convicted much lately how significant our connections to each other are in pointing to our identity as image bearers. We need others speaking into our lives in order to bring out God’s character.
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Amen, sister. Amen.
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