The Detox Diaries, Five Minute Friday Edition: Fill

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Gentle Reader,

After my two-week hiatus I am once again linking up with the FMF crowd at our new hangout, Heading Home with Kate Motaung. Yes, our beloved Lisa-Jo has passed on the baton. But that’s okay! Sometimes it’s right to let a good thing go.

For this first post with Kate, we: fill.

Go.

“Omer”

I’m running on empty today, God

What You gave her just isn’t enough

I need You to meet my need

Adjust Your outpouring supernaturally

I don’t want to complain

I don’t want to be greedy

I just need enough of You

To fill the omer within me

I wrote this poem, based on Exodus 16, years ago, but it came to mind as soon as I saw this week’s prompt. God has answered this prayer over and over again, today in a parking lot being the latest occurrence.

Just a brief recap: as many of you know, I live with some chronic health issues and back in May began the process of coming off of Cymbalta due to liver problems. Thankfully the withdrawal symptoms have passed, but the road to an understanding of what’s happening to my liver is a long one.

A long one full of potholes.

On Monday I had blood work done. Tuesday the doctor called and told me that my enzymes were elevated. Higher than they were in May. I needed to come and see him as soon as possible and get a referral to a specialist. I stayed late at work yesterday so I could leave at mid-morning today and trek across two towns to get to the appointment. He didn’t tell me much more than he did on the phone, but I got the referral and an order for more labs, to be done tomorrow morning.

I’ll be honest: I freaked out when I got that call on Tuesday. I’ve made changes to my diet. I’ve been exercising. I was really hoping that, after two-and-a-half months, there would be some improvement. I certainly wasn’t expecting things to be worse!

The closer I got to the office today, the larger the lump of panic in my throat. Pulling into the packed parking lot, I located an open space beneath and tree and clunked into the…whatever that concrete thing is that keeps you from running into the grass on the other side. Turning off the engine, I closed my eyes, took and deep breath, and prayed.

Okay, God. I need You. I need You really bad. I need You to fill me with that peace, that peace that doesn’t make any sense. I don’t need high blood pressure right now. Calm me down. Help me to hear what the doctor says and make whatever decisions I need to make. Give me clarity. I am with You, Jesus. You are with me. 

I got out of the car and finished with, “Let’s do this.”

My blood pressure? 117 over 70-something.

Almost before the words came out of my mouth, the peace flooded in. From head to toe, I was filled. Completely. There wasn’t any room for fear. I listened, I asked questions. When my doctor told me not to freak out, I smiled.

Because whatever happens, I’m with Jesus. And His plans are good.

Stop.

Grace and peace along the way.

To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.

The Detox Diaries, Five Minute Friday Edition: a Prayer for Release

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Gentle Reader,

Linking up with Lisa-Jo and the #fmfparty peeps. We’re writing about: release.

Go.

God, release me from the powerful hold of anxiety.

Or rather show me that the figurative jail cell is already open. That you’ve already released me. That I can walk out. Be free.

God, thank You for the release of gardening, for the feel of the soft petals against my skin. Thank You for the powerful scent of the roses, released into the air with each opening blossom. It surrounds me. Thank You even for the thorns, for their stinging prick, a tangible reminder of Your grace. Why it reminds me of that, I don’t know. Maybe because pain is now redeemed, in You.

God, work a miracle and release Your servants, Saeed and Meriam, from prison. That Your Name may be glorified, Your fame spread through the earth. And for them. For their families. That they may be reunited. Through them and their testimony in the midst of pain, release a powerful working of Your Spirit.

Release us, Your people, Your children, from the desire to please others. Teach us to please You. Teach us to step forth in the boldness of love, doing all that we can to share the truth with others – in humility. Because we were once there. We were once lost.

Now we are found. Released from wrath. Released from an eternity of separation. Released from the old into the new. Released into grace, into hope, into peace, into adoption.

Into Your arms.

Stop.

Grace and peace along the way.

To read all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.

The Detox Diaries: Please, God, Let Me Get Home

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Gentle Reader,

The title of this post was my constant prayer on the 20-minute drive home from work today. The 20-minute drive I took two hours early. After my lunch made a sudden and unwelcome reappearance.

He did answer. I did get all the way home.

I’m finally in bed now, after some time curled in the fetal position on my bathroom floor.

Pretty sure I never want to eat again.

Taking comfort in these words:

“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!” – Psalm 107:19-21

Grace and peace along the way.

For all the posts in The Detox Diaries series, go here.