Wimpy, Whiny Women
Gentle Reader,
I am weary of wimpy, whiny women.
You read that right.
Ladies, let’s get serious. We know the difference between an inconvenience and an issue. The fact that your child screamed for two hours straight today rather than take a nap? An inconvenience, to be sure. I’d even give you some aspirin for the headache said screaming is sure to have induced. You’d have my sympathy.
You would not, however, have my ear for two hours of adult-type screaming.
Also known as whining.
Aren’t we meant to outgrow this incessant and nasally complaining? “My house is a disaster.” “She didn’t talk to me.” “He works too late.” “He works too little.” “His hours are weird.” “His hours are normal.” “My boss gave me a funny look.” “I’m not a size 6.”
Me, me, me. Now, now, now.
For the love of our relationships, we have got to stop this.
It’s perfectly fine to have a bad day and to indulge in a moment of good whining. It’s not fine to do this is all the time. Inevitably there is one party who is subjected to the never-ending cycle of complaints – and begins to tune them out. “Your house is a disaster,” she thinks. “So get out the vacuum. What do you want me to do about it?” Eventually she realizes that the whiner doesn’t really care about her. Or at least the whiner doesn’t appear to care about her. She wonders when the relationship became so one-sided. When it became the “norm” for her to be Jesus and have all the answers and soothe every little bump and bruise.
She resents the whiner.
Big time.
There are boulders that we all need help shouldering. Things like depression, job loss, significant marital strain, the illness of children. Things that will crush us if we bear them alone. Then, there are pebbles. Pebbles fit neatly into our hands. We don’t need help carrying them. Things like housework, scheduling, petty relational conflict, diet. These are things that we control. Either clean the house or don’t. Get up on time to make the appointment or not. Make the effort to talk to the friend or don’t. Put down the cake and eat the carrot or not.
It’s up to you.
If you don’t clean the house, don’t make the appointment, let the friendship go sour or overeat, there isn’t anyone you can blame but you.
So stop trying. Stop whining.
Ladies, we are better than this! We are stronger than this!
Grace and peace to you,
Thank you. So, so much. This is a challenge worth living up to, and one that I need to, desperately.
Amen, sister!
OMG… I could not agree more! I have a very dear friend of mine who is 5 years younger than I am, and you would think she was 60 by the way she acts. The thing I want to know is why can’t I find someone to at least share my life with because I am a very strong woman… maybe it’s because I don’t allow someone to dote over me because it’s not in my nature. But I often wonder how women, such as my friend (who I love dearly, but I’m not sure how her husband does it) can stay married for so long… I mean it is all the time, she has nasal issues, she fell down the stairs, she so sore because she worked in her yard all day, blah, blah, blah. I’m 40 years old, have a 3 year old, work full time, maintain my 5 acres and my 2900 sf home and I do everything myself (with the occasional help from my brother). I’m so sick of whiny women who don’t even work for a living! I mean suck it up, deal with your aches and pains and act your freakin’ age!
And just to vent a little more… when one goes to the market, just enjoys the afternoon and then is so exhausted and has to take a nap… WHAT??? My days… leave at 7:45 am, drop off my 3 year old, work all day, get home at 6:30 pm, cook dinner for me and my darling daughter, give her a bath, play some and read some with her, put her to bed around 9 pm, have a glass of wine while I’m cleaning up the kitchen or sweeping the floor or doing laundry or paying bills or putting up clothes, finally go to bed around 11 pm or so and do it all again. Weekends… swim class at 10 am, come home and clean what didn’t get done during the week or go shopping with my daughter. Cook lunch, clean kitchen, play with her, do some yard work if the weather is okay, cook dinner, clean kitchen, feed the cats (that happens during the week too), scoop the litter box, go through the mail, play, bath, bed for my daughter… then try and sit down to watch the news at 10 pm. Similar on Sundays. I don’t have anyone else to care for my child, I don’t get naps, I don’t get breaks and I certainly don’t have someone taking care of me because I am sick or down in the dumps because some friend of mine told me like it was about all my political crap that I post on FB!!!! AARRRGGGHHH… can you tell I’m frustrated about whiny women????
I can understand your frustration. One of the things that I am learning is that I can’t fix people. Only God can do that, and they have to let Him. So, to a certain extent, I think it’s best to tune out the whining. If someone’s going to do it, they’re going to do it, you know? We can be encouraging and certainly speak truth into the lives of others, but sometimes we just have to let stuff go. I commend you for putting forth such great effort to take care of your daughter; I can tell that you love fiercely!
Yep! That is so true! I guess I was just at a point and searched and found your blog! Thanks for letting me vent!