Wimpy, Whiny Women
I am weary of wimpy, whiny women.
You read that right.
Ladies, let’s get serious. We know the difference between an inconvenience and an issue. The fact that your child screamed for two hours straight today rather than take a nap? An inconvenience, to be sure. I’d even give you some aspirin for the headache said screaming is sure to have induced. You’d have my sympathy.
You would not, however, have my ear for two hours of adult-type screaming.
Also known as whining.
Aren’t we meant to outgrow this incessant and nasally complaining? “My house is a disaster.” “She didn’t talk to me.” “He works too late.” “He works too little.” “His hours are weird.” “His hours are normal.” “My boss gave me a funny look.” “I’m not a size 6.”
Me, me, me. Now, now, now.
For the love of our relationships, we have got to stop this.
It’s perfectly fine to have a bad day and to indulge in a moment of good whining. It’s not fine to do this is all the time. Inevitably there is one party who is subjected to the never-ending cycle of complaints – and begins to tune them out. “Your house is a disaster,” she thinks. “So get out the vacuum. What do you want me to do about it?” Eventually she realizes that the whiner doesn’t really care about her. Or at least the whiner doesn’t appear to care about her. She wonders when the relationship became so one-sided. When it became the “norm” for her to be Jesus and have all the answers and soothe every little bump and bruise.
She resents the whiner.
There are boulders that we all need help shouldering. Things like depression, job loss, significant marital strain, the illness of children. Things that will crush us if we bear them alone. Then, there are pebbles. Pebbles fit neatly into our hands. We don’t need help carrying them. Things like housework, scheduling, petty relational conflict, diet. These are things that we control. Either clean the house or don’t. Get up on time to make the appointment or not. Make the effort to talk to the friend or don’t. Put down the cake and eat the carrot or not.
It’s up to you.
If you don’t clean the house, don’t make the appointment, let the friendship go sour or overeat, there isn’t anyone you can blame but you.
So stop trying. Stop whining.
Ladies, we are better than this! We are stronger than this!
Grace and peace to you,